what to do about HELL

Sasquatch has had a much improved attitude this last week. Perhaps she's becoming used to the chaos that is our home. Well, good for her. It seems to be getting worse for me. I should strive to be more like her and accept what is just because it is. As a human being though, it's hard to just accept, even though, clearly, this is exactly what we should do. My human nature makes me believe that I actually have control over things that happen and so I rebel against my circumstances sometimes. What I really believe is that what's going to happen is going to happen, no matter what I do. So, I'd be much happier just to let be what will be and I do try to do so, but...I'm imperfect, as humans are, and that's all there is to it. Perfection is perhaps an admirable goal, yet unattainable. There are so many things I wish I could change and so few I actually can. How much better to be like Sas and just live in the moment, and trust that it will work out as it should, give no thought to goals, wishes, hopes and be happy just to be...Well, all I can do is try today and forgive myself for my shortcomings.

All this brings me, in a roundabout way, to HELL.

In the last couple of weeks, I've, inexplicably, received a record number of communications from the men of HELL. Practically every day, there's a new message from one or another...rarely 2 from the same man. It's strange because I've done nothing to prompt this activity...I haven't taken any new tests or answered any questions or posted any journal entries, so I'm at a loss to explain it. Unfortunately, none of these men even remotely resemble anyone I'd ever be interested in. It's not their fault, nor is it mine. Some have seemed nice enough, but nice is, well, just nice. Others have been downright freaky, if not truly scary, so, no. Most have been just average boring guys, with their poor grammar and their misspellings and their descriptions of the things they like to do...camping, fishing, bowling, watching television!! (I'm genuinely amazed at the number of people who like to camp. I can think of little that's more unpleasant than living in the dirt, sleeping with the bugs, and exposing oneself to the elements. Give me a hotel--4-star at least please--and room service any day. But that's just me). I imagine most of them would be happy to buy me dinner and take me to a movie (or bowling!), but I wonder what we would talk about? I could feign an interest in camping, I suppose, but I'd be found out as soon as the weather gets warm enough to actually consider sleeping in the woods, so why bother? There are those who say I'm too picky and that I should get over myself, the implication being, of course, that I'm not nearly as cool as I think I am. Well, maybe. But I've had some dull relationships and I'd rather have no relationship at all. So, maybe I'm not as cool as I think I am, but I'm not settling for some Joe Don with his pickup truck and his gun rack...not for a relationship, not for a date. Joe Don is undoubtedly perfect for some woman, but that woman isn't me.

And so, I'm considering chucking it all and suspending my HELL profile. It's been almost six months, which seems like enough time. In addition, HELL has pissed me off badly by removing the most fabulous profile photo ever...my Escape photo and replacing it with another. (Well, OK, there is one other profile photo just as fabulous, which captivated me plus made me laugh! I think the owner of that photo knows who he is. And if he doesn't, he hasn't been paying attention.) This photo removal thing is beyond the pale though. Obviously, there is nothing objectionable about my Escape pic, and yet, some dope objected and just like that, photo removed. The only thing that makes me hesitate is that the HELL experience is the point of this blog and without it, there's really no reason to continue here. I have enjoyed it and am perhaps not ready to give it up yet, so we'll see. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen and that goes for this too. Something will tell me whether to stay or to go if I pay attention and stay alert. In any case, I fully expect to continue at least until remodeling is finished. Since I've brought you this far, I'll take you to the end of that.

For the Sasquatch lovers, and there are many, I've included a short video of Sasquatch being Sas...happy, goofy, adorable. Plus, it gives an indication of the sad state of our home brought about by the remodeling project.

Finally, I received a gentle reprimand from Anonymous for using the phrase "boost Buicks" in an entry from last week. Well plagarism is never attractive and I do sincerely apologize, although I believe a 2-word phrase doesn't really require attribution. Nevertheless, it is not my intention to upset anyone. And so I want the multitudes who read here to know that boost Buicks was lifted shamelessly from a comment by Anonymous and I'm sorry for not saying so. I promise to try to do better.

--Ina