Sasquatch, as always, was delighted to see me when when I got home this afternoon. I was glad to see her too because I'd spent the day in hell...Not HELL. No, this was another kind of hell...one so terrible as to defy description...it was Performance Appraisal Hell. There was a time that performance appraisals didn't necessitate time in hell. There was a time, oh those halcyon days, when performance appraisals were spread out over the year rather than all being due at once. We still griped and bitched about them, but my colleagues and I had no idea what was in store. I'm a manager in an editorial office. I have a staff of 16 editors, coordinators and other associates whose work isn't easily defined. Until about 2 hours ago, I thought I had 15 on my staff...imagine my surprise to learn that I actually had one more! I should have counted myself, but when my colleague, Mr V., told me I had 15, I believed him. He's usually right, but not this time. (No, I don't call him Mr anything, but to use his first initial would be far too confusing...trust me.) Thanks V, way to confuse the hell out of me. Did you do it on purpose? You know who you are...
So, 16 performance appraisals, due Valentine's Day...How sweet. My strategy, after I got over my panic attack, was to do the easiest ones first and knock out as many as possible in one day...today. I logged into the Performance Appraisal Management System (SuckCess!...thanks B...you're way too emotional, but funny as hell.) but my password would not work. I knew what my password was. It was the same as it's always been, but it would not work...not the first time, not the second...not the 10th. I was frustrated...I was pissed. I sent the please-help-me-for-I'm-too-stupid-to-keep-up-with-my-passwords email and sat back to wait. I got coffee...I read the paper...I chatted with various associates...I answered emails from the corporate office. Sixteen appraisals to do and I'm dead in the water. This cannot be right. I work for an important corporation doing vital work. No, really. Well, it seems vital to the executives. And I am not able to do these most important appraisals because of some password glitch? I know my password! It's written down on a post-it note, stuck to my PC! Why won't it work? Oh, who knows...What was important was that I get logged into SuckCess! as soon as possible before I lost my motivation. So I did what I had to do. I sent another email. I'm sure this is strictly forbidden, but it worked and within moments, a new password had been sent.
By now, I was a little out of the notion of doing reviews, but I really had no choice, so started on the one I thought might be easiest...hoping to ease in gradually until I found my rhythm. It worked pretty well...So I wrote and evaluated...I calculated averages and ratings. I was doing reviews and I was on fire, until about 3 pm, when I felt my motivation go far away. But I got several finished...not as many as I'd hoped, but nevertheless, a good start. I can do this, and it's a good thing, since I have to do it again all day tomorrow...
And now I'm home and Sas is watching You Bet Your Life on the Game Show Channel. She loves Groucho Marx, but she really loves that stupid duck that delivers the money when a contestant says the secret word. It's a really old show, and kind of corny by today's standards, but that Groucho...he's one funny guy. We're also enduring another storm, this one wind. It reminds me of that one we had in September, but this one seems worse to me...I'm a little afraid the electricity might go away again. If so, well, I just don't know.
--Ina
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