another hot date from Hell

Sasquatch and I were sitting there on the couch, arguing. She was getting a little assertive, as this photo reveals.
She wanted to watch the Game Show Channel. Concentration--The Early Years, hosted by Hugh Downs, was on and she was dying to see it. I wanted to listen to my Henry Hipkens CDs. I have just discovered Henry and I adore him. There are only 2 CDs, and he needs to get busy making another. His website says he's hibernating. I can only hope this is songwriter code for writing more songs, gargling and tuning the guitar. If the 2 of you who read this on a semi-regular basis would all send him an email, perhaps he would be inspired to get off his lazy ass and get that CD done...the rest of y'all who've just stumbled in while looking for something titillating on the web get a pass on the Henry email thing. So, I was getting ready to get in the car to listen to my CDs so Sas could watch her stupid Concentration retrospective when she looked pointedly at my laptop. I knew from experience that this meant new mail!

When I opened email, I saw that I had an intimate communication from HELL! How exciting! It was from someone named Shih-tzu2u4u8u. What?? Wait a minute! I had gotten mail from this guy before. He emailed a few weeks ago and asked if I needed help filling my empty days. Well, I told him then in no uncertain terms that my days were far from empty. There's my most fulfilling and important job that takes up most of my time. It's wonderful to work for one of America's most worker-friendly and compassionate corporations. I could never ask for a more satisfying work experience! And such vital work! No, it's not a cure for cancer or the answer to third world hunger, but important nonetheless. And the rewards! The bags of money I have just sitting around the house are just amazing. I should really start a scholarship fund...I do hate paperwork and I imagine there's quite a lot to deal with, working with Harvard or other Ivy League universities. Perhaps I'll get around to it one day. In the meantime, while I'm waiting to get around to it, I think I'll purchase these shoes. Aren't they beautiful? Christian Louboutin...

with the signature red soles...so pretty and only $995!! Well, yes, $995 seems a little excessive for a pair of shoes...but just imagine...those shoes, my perfect little black dress...and dream date! First, dinner at Applebee's? Perhaps the blackened chicken with a double loaded baked potato (extra Bac'Os) and veg o' day. Then what? The possibilities are endless...bowling? well, I'd hate to take off my Louboutins to put on bowling shoes...if we got the early bird special at Applebee's, we might have time to get to Kart Kountry for a wild go-cart ride before dark. And then, since we'd be in Buford County anyway, we might as well take advantage of all those remote spots for parking! Sooo exciting...
Wait!! Is that the phone?!?

--Ina