Sasquatch was busy munching a yummy bone and suggested that I check HELL for possible true loves. I had to look at her like WTF?!? Because, well, had there been any true loves yet? Had there even been any good matches in my handbasket? Heck no! But she was busy and I was bored, plus ever optimistic (as those of you who know me in real life can attest!) so, I logged on and looked at my handbasket contents, and let me tell you, I had some doozies this time.
There he was...dream date! Or maybe not...His moniker was 2funy4u. Funy? He was one who illustrates why taking a shirtless photo of yourself in front of the bathroom mirror is not a good idea. There he stood...camera sort of off to the side, but not far enough away that the flash wasn't reflected, which probably was good since it distracted me from his fish-belly white, well belly. He had this hang-dog look on his face...it was obvious he knew that standing there in the bathroom, half naked, taking his own picture was a really dumb idea. So why would he attach this awful photo to his profile, which presumably, he was using to try to attract women? Well, who knows...and what's more, who cares? And 2funy? Well, not if his profile was any indication. In fact, I didn't see anything funy, but as everyone knows, I am humor-impaired. However, I did learn that the six things that he cannot live without are: 1. Air, 2. Food, 3. House, 4. His truck, 5. Water, and 6. A good woman. What? I can't believe he put his house and his truck before water! Everybody knows the human body cannot survive, well very long, without water! So, I'm thinking 2funy4u is a pretty literal minded guy, if not really all that bright. And not really all that funy either. And not really all that imaginative either. And not really all that good looking either, although I'd have been willing to overlook that if there had been anything at all appealing about him. Rejected!
Another handbasket resident was pattynme4u...Pattynme4u was a married man who was looking for...what? A girlfriend? Was this another one of those polyamorous freaks? He and his wife, Patty, wanted a friend to hang out with...and he's looking for one in HELL?!? Why not walk across the street and talk to your neighbor? Or perhaps he and Patty could find a friend at church because according to his profile (yes, go ahead and judge me, I looked at his profile) they were big church goers...Sundays AND Wednesdays. Well, no, Pattynme4u, I do not want to be your special friend. I do not want to hang out. I do not want to have anything at all
to do with you. Rejected!
There he was...dream date! Or maybe not...His moniker was 2funy4u. Funy? He was one who illustrates why taking a shirtless photo of yourself in front of the bathroom mirror is not a good idea. There he stood...camera sort of off to the side, but not far enough away that the flash wasn't reflected, which probably was good since it distracted me from his fish-belly white, well belly. He had this hang-dog look on his face...it was obvious he knew that standing there in the bathroom, half naked, taking his own picture was a really dumb idea. So why would he attach this awful photo to his profile, which presumably, he was using to try to attract women? Well, who knows...and what's more, who cares? And 2funy? Well, not if his profile was any indication. In fact, I didn't see anything funy, but as everyone knows, I am humor-impaired. However, I did learn that the six things that he cannot live without are: 1. Air, 2. Food, 3. House, 4. His truck, 5. Water, and 6. A good woman. What? I can't believe he put his house and his truck before water! Everybody knows the human body cannot survive, well very long, without water! So, I'm thinking 2funy4u is a pretty literal minded guy, if not really all that bright. And not really all that funy either. And not really all that imaginative either. And not really all that good looking either, although I'd have been willing to overlook that if there had been anything at all appealing about him. Rejected!
Another handbasket resident was pattynme4u...Pattynme4u was a married man who was looking for...what? A girlfriend? Was this another one of those polyamorous freaks? He and his wife, Patty, wanted a friend to hang out with...and he's looking for one in HELL?!? Why not walk across the street and talk to your neighbor? Or perhaps he and Patty could find a friend at church because according to his profile (yes, go ahead and judge me, I looked at his profile) they were big church goers...Sundays AND Wednesdays. Well, no, Pattynme4u, I do not want to be your special friend. I do not want to hang out. I do not want to have anything at all
to do with you. Rejected! And my other handbasket person? Well, perhaps I'll tell you about him...perhaps not. So grim....
So Sas and I will probably finish Slugs in Love tonight. I've grown to love those madcap little slugs, Herbie and Mary Ann.
--Ina
--Ina
It's definitely hell out there. I decided to follow Walt Whitman's advice and "dismiss whatever insults my own soul" which is 97 percent of the dating population...lol
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