Dave replied promptly to my email and sent a picture of his daughter! That seemed, well, if not strange, then a little out of the ordinary. But, I thought, "He must just be a proud papa. Isn't that sweet." And she was beautiful. (if it really was his daughter and not just some photo he trolled off the web) He also sent his phone number and told me to call anytime!! (He put those 2 exclamation points in his email. He's an enthusiastic guy.) Well, I'm an old-fashioned girl and I'm not making the first call. So I sent him my cell number (it IS the Internet and you can't be too careful, so there's no way I'm sending my home number) and told him to call me. He replied that he'd call that very night! Well, this seemed to be moving along at a spritely pace indeed.
So, Sasquatch and I were sitting on the couch watching the Game Show Channel. Sas wanted to watch the Golf Channel, but golf makes me jittery. Besides, an episode of Wheel of Fortune from the 90s was on. Back when Pat Sajak looked kinda hot, in that goofy boy-next-door way. And it was the episode with that lady in the red plaid blouse and the jet black mall hair and those really thin drawn-on eyebrows. Remember her? She spun the wheel and landed on a big-money space and asked Pat if she could have an "R." Vanna turned over 2 "Rs!!" So the board looked like this
R_ _ _ _ _ _ R
Then, she asked for a "D" and Vanna turned over a "D."
R _ _ _ D _ _ R
Then she asked for an "N" and Vanna did that thing she does so well.
R _ _ ND _ _ R.
She asked Pat could she buy a vowel, and Pat said, "Sure!!!!!!" Because Pat's nothing if not enthusiastic...just like Dave. So she bought an "E" and Vanna did it again...3 times!
RE_NDEER
And then, incredibly, amazingly, she asked to buy another vowel. WTF!! What is so freakin' obvious to you and to me is lost on red-plaid lady. Can it be that she doesn't recognize the word? Can she not spell? (And if not, she should have picked a game show other than WOF. Maybe Jeopardy.) Can it possibly be that she's that mind-bogglingly stupid?? Or wait...maybe she's just being cautious, like those of us in HELL are. Uh, no...because she asked for an "O!" An "O!!??" Lady, what are you thinking? Are you so dazed by the bright TV lights that you've completely taken leave of your senses? WTF is wrong with you? Pat looked at her like he thought surely she must be joking, but she'd bought that "O" and there's a no returns, no refunds policy at the Buy-A-Vowel store. Bummer for her, for sure. So Pat said, "Oh!!!!! I'm sorry! No "O!!" And the turn passed to the guy with the handlebar mustache and bad toupee on red-plaid lady's left. And then, the phone rang...
RE_NDEER
So, Sasquatch and I were sitting on the couch watching the Game Show Channel. Sas wanted to watch the Golf Channel, but golf makes me jittery. Besides, an episode of Wheel of Fortune from the 90s was on. Back when Pat Sajak looked kinda hot, in that goofy boy-next-door way. And it was the episode with that lady in the red plaid blouse and the jet black mall hair and those really thin drawn-on eyebrows. Remember her? She spun the wheel and landed on a big-money space and asked Pat if she could have an "R." Vanna turned over 2 "Rs!!" So the board looked like this
R_ _ _ _ _ _ R
Then, she asked for a "D" and Vanna turned over a "D."
R _ _ _ D _ _ R
Then she asked for an "N" and Vanna did that thing she does so well.
R _ _ ND _ _ R.
She asked Pat could she buy a vowel, and Pat said, "Sure!!!!!!" Because Pat's nothing if not enthusiastic...just like Dave. So she bought an "E" and Vanna did it again...3 times!
RE_NDEER
And then, incredibly, amazingly, she asked to buy another vowel. WTF!! What is so freakin' obvious to you and to me is lost on red-plaid lady. Can it be that she doesn't recognize the word? Can she not spell? (And if not, she should have picked a game show other than WOF. Maybe Jeopardy.) Can it possibly be that she's that mind-bogglingly stupid?? Or wait...maybe she's just being cautious, like those of us in HELL are. Uh, no...because she asked for an "O!" An "O!!??" Lady, what are you thinking? Are you so dazed by the bright TV lights that you've completely taken leave of your senses? WTF is wrong with you? Pat looked at her like he thought surely she must be joking, but she'd bought that "O" and there's a no returns, no refunds policy at the Buy-A-Vowel store. Bummer for her, for sure. So Pat said, "Oh!!!!! I'm sorry! No "O!!" And the turn passed to the guy with the handlebar mustache and bad toupee on red-plaid lady's left. And then, the phone rang...
RE_NDEER
--Ina
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