Tour-de-freaks: Or online dating by and for the clueless: there's no place like HELL for the holidays

As I was telling Sasquatch this morning, HELL's a mighty strange place during the holidays. (Just look how attentive she is! Ever since I put Bat in the closet, she's been behaving better. Oh don't worry, I'll let her kill him for awhile this evening as a holiday treat.)

Well, it's pretty strange other times too, (HELL, that is, for those of you who haven't been paying close attention) but especially so this time of year. Most of the "normal" men seem to have gone home to their wives, leaving only the grouchy and the disgruntled. Well, and the freaks... there are always plenty of those. There's this one guy from Minnesota who wants me to put on a Mrs Claus outfit and beat him with a large stick! Now, I ask you, why would anyone don a Mrs Claus outfit for that kind of activity? He didn't want me to actually come to Minnesota...no, he wanted to conduct the whole thing over the phone. Which come to think of it, how would he know if I was wearing that outfit or not? Dang! I should have said I'd do it! I could have worn my normal clothes and he wouldn't have been the wiser. I could have made his Christmas wish come true. Well, there may still be a chance...he usually sends about 20 messages a day, begging.

As for the grouchy, well, they seem worse than normal. The other day, I posted something to my HELL journal page and some nut from Ohio berated me for it! I mean, it's my own journal, so why shouldn't I post anything I want to without any lip from from some dumbass in Dayton?? He didn't HAVE to read it, after all. I suppose he's suffering from pent up sexual frustration plus the normal stress of the holidays, so I should be kinder. He seems a little, well, stupid too, so I really, really should be kinder. Oh enough about him...

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