Parade of Freaks, part III

If you're still with me, gentlemen, let's talk about the section in HELL called "I spend a lot of time thinking about..." Your answer really shouldn't be "sex." And it really, really shouldn't be "sex sex sex sex sex sex." We've already established that you're in HELL to attract women, right? Well, women don't need to be reminded that you spend a lot of time thinking about sex. Unless we're very young or very inexperienced, we've already discovered that fact about men. Your profile in HELL isn't about stating the obvious. No, what you should be doing is making yourself sound as charming, as interesting as possible. So, put some thought into it. Surely there's something interesting that you think about, so tell us about it.
Finally...your photo. If you've chosen to post a photo... and personally, I don't think it's mandatory if you can write an interesting profile, but it's your choice certainly...but if you DO choose to post one, please, please don't post a shirtless pic.***** Because HELL has at least a few standards, you're forbidden to post pics of certain body parts...you know which ones I mean. (For once, HELL has done something right in making this rule.) But keep your shirt on. If we want to see your bare chest, we'll see it. Until then, let us use our imaginations. Imagination is the sexiest thing ever, so take advantage of it.
Next up...that first encounter.

*****Upon further reflection, I've decided to revise this rule. I've seen a couple of pics where the shirtless thing actually worked. So, if you're on a boat or in the pool or in some other situation where shirtlessness is appropriate, then yeah, go ahead and post that pic. On the other hand, if you're standing at the bathroom mirror, camera in hand, taking your own picture, put your shirt back on. Thx
--Ina