the Plan...

Sasquatch and I were sitting on the couch, watching the What's My Line marathon on the Game Show Channel (Sas loves Bennett Cerf. She has good taste and always prefers intellect over looks.) and I was thinking about my plan. It was simple, really. I'd go to HELL and create a false profile to see if I could lure Dave back into my web, suck the life out of him, then cut him loose like the big ugly cockroach he is. Oh sure, I know all profiles are basically false...except those totally sincere and icky ones like the guy who called himself "myhartistrue&ifUleavmeillstalkUtilUdie."**** His moniker is kind of hard to parse out, but it can be done, if you're patient. He's actually one of the freakiest of the freaks, despite his apparent sincerity. He wants to "be with you night and day...every moment! I'll never let you out of my site (sic). I'll awaken you in the morning with licks all over your body until you can't stand it anymore (Ina--I'll bet!) and you beg, no! plead with me to stop. (Ina--no kidding.) Then, I'll bring you breakfast in bed...toast and jam or oatmeal or a bowl of hot Cream O' Wheat." Yeah, whatever, myhartisetcetcetc, just what every girl wants...a full-body lick followed by some Cream O' Wheat!
Back to the plan...I was going to go with the full-on humor approach...cynical, sarcastic, a little mean...all those things I'd discovered were a kind of a turn on for Dave. Plus, I was going to turn up the kink factor a little because from a couple of things he'd said, I thought Dave might appreciate a little kink...I've learned that, at least in my experience, this is probably true for most men, even myhartisetcetcetc, not that I've had any personal experience with that gentleman, thank god.
So while Sas was engrossed in WML, slobbering over Bennett, her tail wagging a mile a minute, I filled out my profile and inatizzy was born. And she's actually attracted some very interesting guys. Guys who can appreciate the humor and aren't scared away by the cynicism. Nice, funny guys and I hope she'll continue to attract them because I've grown to like her way more than that other profile. Well, why not, she's me...

****Not his real moniker, so all you girls looking for hot Cream O' Wheat action will just have to keep looking.

--Ina